I have to admit that I had butterflies in my stomach the entire ride between Toronto (which is, for the record, 7 hours with tailwind, but a broken brake kept us grounded an extra two hours). I didn’t know if I was making a good decision, which was then exacerbated by the delay and the lack of train tickets and the lío of Alejandro telling me he wasn’t going to pick me up because Kike need a lift at the exact same time.
But the second I stepped off the train in Santa Justa, David sent me a text welcoming me back “home” and all that crazy build up of feelings and nightmares just kinda…evaporated. And I feel happy here. I’ve been doing my best to keep Kike at bay, do things my way, look for new opportunities and just be happy with what I’ve got. And despite little problems I’ve had, things have gone well these past three weeks.
Manolito says I seem mas ligera, Melissa swears I’m happier. My Spanish is struggling and I’m always beat. But I’m staring to make sense of the things I want and the things I don’t want (which is always more clear).
My big complaint is my schedule. I’m in Olivares four times a week, and only in the afternoon, so I’m constantly running from one place to another. I have to pay my own transportation and get up even earlier, and with my classes being all the way across town, I’m always looking for a way to shorten the trip or move things around. IT BLOWS not even having 30 minutes to eat and check my email tranquilita. What’s worse is that I want to find time to do something for myself, be it take yoga or volunteer or whatever, and I can’t. Mad at myself.
Butttt I’ve already gotten a little traveling in. I used the Puente de Pilar (Day of the massacre of the indigenous population of the Americas, really) to get to London. I’d been there once before, but my cousin Tom and darling, dearest friend Cat live there, so I was willing to from the 78 euros on RyanAir to spend a few days. Not prepared for the cold or the money spent on transportation (over half of my allowance!!), but a good time with two mostly gorgeous days! I would write more, but I’m beat. Hoping to find more time to actually write anything interesting and up to par…besossss